I'm trying to understand what it means to communicate rather than OVER-Communicate.
Sometimes I want to share but then I feel like "this is too small to be fussing about it" or maybe I'm just in a mood and I'll get over it.
It kinda feels like I'm choosing to not invest the emotional work needed to strengthen the relationships I have/ want to continue.
I'm sinking into a place where things aren't as exciting, engaging or impressive as they used to be.
My ability to detach used to be something I was incredibly happy about. I could easily detach myself from people, places and things without looking back because for so long I cared too much and carried everything on my heart and shoulders.
I am definitely a content person now, I don't want or need much. I love being alone, by myself. I thoroughly enjoy my own company even more than being around others. I still do not consider myself an introvert in any way because I do not necessarily dread being around people either.
However, the one con that I have noticed about this is that when I interact with a certain amount of energy, for whatever reason if I feel it is not reciprocated I shut down. And I have to use quite a bit of effort to come back again.
There are 2 sides to it, one is I blame myself for their reaction and think that I am not what they want. (this is surely not a bad thing either, sometimes you meet people and even if you have a good meet, it doesn't mean you have to gel and become buddy-buddy from that moment onwards. Sometimes being acquaintances is also enough, we don't need sleepovers and lunch dates.)
The second is that I'll extend some empathy and say maybe that day and that moment there wasn't enough spark between us to make me feel what I'd have felt with someone that I was meant to stay connected with. Because the reality is that, not everything is about me, people are going through their own things. Life is rough for everyone.
I truly hope this makes sense to someone though, I'm doing that mind-vomit thing here. I struggle to communicate because I don't feel like my feelings make sense.
I struggle because if I don't know how to collect my thoughts and make them make sense to me, I don't think it's valid enough to speak them out to the next person. Kinda feels like I'm throwing bricks and bubblegum without a clear idea of what it should mean.
Either way, I'm struggling to figure out how to communicate without being whiny, overbearing or over-communicating to the point of ruining my relationships with the people close to me.
Today's introspection took quite a turn but I'm hoping that sharing it will help someone. Also Reddit.
There's no real point here except that I am struggling and I came online to look for help and I'm sharing the link for others.
Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/3xcu2m/how_have_you_improved_your_relationship/
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