Sometimes, I really want to give up

Sometimes, I really want to give up.

I really want to quit everything and just crawl into a hole and wait for death. I’m just being honest.

In my head, I’m trying everything to get ahead - to be better. To move forward, to improve, to progress. But things just aren’t working.

Ends are not meeting.

I’m trying different things. I’m showing up. I take what I’m offered, I’m not prideful. I have nothing to be proud of/about, I’m not above any type of job. Job is job.

I’ll clean. I’ll mop. I’ll count. I’ll pack. I’ll sell - forget a degree.

I just need something coming in so that I don’t have to struggle this much day to day.

I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep trying. Keep fighting. It seems like things are getting worse each day. Problems keep piling up and expectations are rising.

I don’t want to ask for help from anyone because I know that everyone has their own things going on. I don’t want to be a burden.

I want to figure this out so that I don’t have to become a liability to anyone.

The idea that they could bury me and be done with me is appealing sometimes, but I know that my problems will just transfer to someone else and that doesn’t seem fair or right.

My problems are mine, I should carry them by myself.

It’s all my fault anyways. I didn’t study hard enough. I’m probably not working hard enough. I’m not disciplined like the others. I’m not consistent like her. I’m not focused like him. Am I even smart enough to be doing this?

I don’t even enjoy doing the things that I used to do anymore. I probably wasn’t good at them. If I was good at them, they would’ve grown. I was simply wasting my time and energy. Why did I make so much noise about nothing?!

I should just give up on everything and stop trying, my efforts aren’t bringing any positive results at all.

You and I have had thoughts similar to this or exactly like this at some point in our lives.

One or two or all of these sentences have probably crossed our minds at some point or another.

Life is suffering.

To live is to suffer, to constantly shift from one form or discomfort and unease/uncertainty to the next.

Pain reminds us we are, in-fact, we are living.

Everyone is going through one form of suffering or 81, all at once.

This is a reminder to be kinder, more compassionate and empathetic towards others.

And also to yourself.

Because you are living too.