The most practical advise that can ever be given to any one in a relationship is that you have to know your partner. (Especially if they are a reasonable person who is not abusive in any way or manipulative. – when you have a good one.)
It doesn’t matter how much advice you get in the world, knowing your partner is the first step to knowing what could actually work for you or not.
You have to know at least their patterns and what motivates their actions.
It is important to take some time to get to know them according to what’s important for you to consider having a deeper relationship with them than you already have.
Different people look for different things in a relationship and you have to be able to communicate this whilst asking the right questions that are meaningful to you.
Many times even relationships with two sane people who mean well can go sour because they did not take the time to properly understand their partners method of communicating towards them. This is so crucial.
Everything we do is a form of communication either for dialogue or as a way we present ourselves to the world (or those around us.)
Many experts emphasis on communication because that is literally how anyone can know what you want/need.
Learn to ask for what you want. We do not have to settle for less than we deserve or want simply because we are afraid to ask and get a reaction. – No matter what happens, you will be fine. Ask and you shall receive and if you don’t, you won’t die (unless it’s oxygen or food, lol.)
Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving. – Gary Chapman
Most of us don’t date randomly, we date with the intent that this is the person we think we may end up with. so it is important to be mindful about certain things before entering a serious relationship.
Also, do not ignore the signs of an abusive partner. If they show the signs, encourage them to get help or walk away. They are not your responsibility to fix or make better!
Things to consider:
- Are you compatible (Basic moral values, Basic religious views, Basic personality traits, Intellect, Hobbies, Temperament, personalities, etc)?
- Do your goals align (Marriage, Kids, Where to live, Whether or not a traditional marriage or marriage roles are for you)?
- Am I really interested in this person or am I just lonely?
- Do they have the qualities/characteristics that I want/ need in a partner?
- are our Financial mindset similar/compatible?
- Can I stay completely committed and devoted to this person and vice versa, – trust level
- Is this someone I see myself with in the long run?
At the end of the day, you know what is best for you. You have to live with your own decisions so make sure that you are making a decision that adds to your future and overall happiness positively.
ONCE YOU IDENTIFY AND LEARN TO SPEAK YOUR SPOUSE’S PRIMARY LOVE LANGUAGE, I BELIEVE THAT YOU WILL HAVE DISCOVERED THE KEY TO A LONG-LASTING, LOVING RELATIONSHIP. LOVE NEED NOT EVAPORATE AFTER THE WEDDING, BUT IN ORDER TO KEEP IT ALIVE MOST OF US WILL HAVE TO PUT FORTH EFFORT TO LEARN A SECONDARY LOVE LANGUAGE. WE CANNOT RELY ON OUR NATIVE TONGUE IF OUR SPOUSE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND IT. IF WE WANT THEM TO FEEL THE LOVE WE ARE TRYING TO COMMUNICATE, WE MUST EXPRESS IT IN HIS OR HER PRIMARY LOVE LANGUAGE. – GARY CHAPMAN
Wishing you love, light, peace and happiness.
#CA
TIP: Read 5 love languages by Gary Chapman with your Partner.
Originally posted on Orchid Entry.
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